But I don't wanna

What to do when you don’t feel like creating

Last weekend I avoided going on a run for two days. One morning I looked out the window and the trees were swaying and I decided it was too windy. I didn’t want to be cold. The next morning I ate a cookie for breakfast and then I ate regular breakfast and then I was too full to run. How convenient!

Then I treated myself to a little doomscrolling which was rudely interrupted by my friend Ashley who posted about her podium finish at a marathon. Podium finish! She’s got two young kids and a job and is also working on a children’s book and lives in New England where she has to go on chilly runs and, holy smokes, she just podiumed at a marathon. I immediately messaged her: “What!! You are incredible.”

Then I laced up and went for a run. The sun was out. It wasn’t actually that windy.

The problem wasn’t the conditions. The problem was that I didn’t want to go for a run.

The solution wasn’t convincing myself that I did want to go for a run. The solution was seeing a friend going after it. I have no plans of a podium finish any time soon, nor do I have any time-related goals for my running right now. I didn’t want to do what she did, but I was inspired by the heart she brought to the effort and the conditions within which she made it happen. I looked at my friend, the care she brought to a marathon, and suddenly there welled up a must from within. 

Importantly, there was no self-reprimanding. There was no comparison. Her doing her thing simply made me want to do mine. 

I think we underestimate the power of seeing people we know do work they care about, of watching effort with heart, of bearing witness to people we love making good on the promises they make to themselves. 

We’re reminded that we can do the same. Next thing we know, we’ve laced up our shoes and we’re out the door.

The best way to get in motion is to surround yourself with people who are already moving. It’s not possible to want to go for a run more on days you’d rather stay in bed. But it is possible to begrudgingly agree when your friends say, “Come on, let’s go for a jog today.”

20 minutes in you’ll discover: You just went for a run.

Even though you didn’t want to.

Now that’s something.

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Notes from the Road is brought to you by Brainstorm Road. This piece was written by Kristin and edited by Margo.