Dream Project Hotline

on constantly starting and stopping projects

We opened up the Dream Project Hotline to answer your questions about Brainstorm Road and making Dream Projects happen in real life. Membership is closed, but the hotline is open.

Our third submission sounds like shiny object syndrome, but has a lot more going on beneath the surface:

Q: I’ve started and stopped working on passion projects so many times in the past. How do I know this time will be different? Maybe I don’t even want to do this project. WHAT IS THE POINT??

Let’s get into it.

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Dear What Is the Point,

Ah, yes. The good ole’ YoYo Diet of Creativity. You’re starting projects and stopping projects. 

Starting projects and stopping projects. Starting and stopping. Starting and stopping. Nothing ever *really* gets done.

You can do a sprint. You're on a roll for a few months, but then you lose steam and come up with all these reasons why it won’t work (many of which are true and real and legitimate).

What if the answer isn’t the unveiling of a One True Thing you're meant to devote the rest of your life to? What if the answer is: you’re already doing it (this answer sucks).

“What’s my thing” is about identity. It’s wanting to feel like we matter. 

Like our life meant something. Like we came here and contributed to the improvement and well-being of humankind. That we made an impact, dedicated ourselves to something bigger than us, and pursued that elusive dream. Manifested destiny. 

Hearing that “you're already doing it” is patronizing. For one, you know. For two, it doesn’t address the real issue. The real issue is: who am I and what am I doing here? What makes life matter? Is what I am doing worth my time? Have I made bad choices? Did I choose the wrong life?

Here is where we invoke the wisdom of the Patron Saint of Life Advice, Cheryl Strayed and The Ghost Ship.

The Ghost Ship is the life we could have chosen and could have lived, but didn’t.

The life that looks at us and says, “Had you tried harder you’d have gotten into the Royal Ballet Academy. You’d have 600,000 people on your email list by now. You would have landed that TV anchor gig. Had you been clear on your single soul purpose you would have…”

To quote Strayed, “There will likely be no clarity, at least at the outset; there will only be the choice you make and the sure knowledge that either one will contain some loss.”

What if the challenge is taking one tiny step forward in a world that can give you no guarantee? On a project that might not end up being The Thing? On a Dream that doesn’t necessarily lead to fulfillment, purpose, and meaning? 

One of my favorite people in the world is suffering under the weight of “What is my thing?” and for the better part of two decades she’s jumped from OMG ITS THIS to OMG NO ITS THIS! To WAIT WAIT NOWWWW I KNOW!!! IT IS THIS! 

What I hear underneath this is a desperate clawing at identity. Who am I? Tell me who I am. 

Make it safe for me to be me. 

Make it ok.

If don’t choose, if I keep changing my mind, if I don’t really start or don’t ever finish I can never be disappointed in the life that never got lived. I will never have to face the Ghost Ship of regret. I can live safely in the illusion that I would have had I had clarity.

The alternative is to stick with the practice of creating instead of clinging to any one outcome. To not pin our identity on any one project. You are bigger than any project you stop, start or finish. None of them is you.

As Natalie Goldberg says,

Don’t identify too strongly with your work. Stay fluid behind those black-and-white words. They are not you. They were a great moment going through you.

No project is big enough to reveal your true identity or your whole self, but every time we make something we have an opportunity to learn something about who we are, what we enjoy, and how our point of view can offer joy, insight, and connection.

Find a safe space. Make things. Acknowledge the Ghost Ship. That’s our work.

Have a question? We want to hear it.

Send a note with the subject line “Dream Project Hotline” to hello@brainstormroad.com.

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PS: Membership in Brainstorm Road is closed. However, we got an influx of new subscribers to Substack this week who did not know we were open. We hear you and we saw your emails! We extended the deadline for those who asked — and want to do the same for anyone we might have missed. If you would like to become a member of Brainstorm Road for the January session, send an email to hello@brainstomroad.com and we will gladly extend the deadline for you. This week is onboarding so we have plenty of time to get you caught up.