New Me Who Dis
The myth of radical transformation
It takes a lot of courage to admit we have a dream, especially if we’ve ignored that dream and put it on the back burner for whoknowshowlong because Real Life got in the way.
Real Life comes with an internal negotiation that uses denial and logistics to help us talk ourselves out of the things we want: Do I really want this? What’s the point? I’m too old anyway. There’s no way I’ll be able to really invest in this.
If we do manage to survive that stage of self-doubt and rationalization and find the courage inside ourselves to say, “This is the thing I want to do. This is my dream,” then what happens next is we get excited.
And when we get excited we start to see a future we couldn’t imagine before. A finished book. A quilt that wins awards. The discipline to work on our woodwork 17 hours a day. The focus and determination to grow our little food biz from $10k/month to $10million/month.
We think that once we decide to be the sort of person that goes for their dreams, then voila presto new me who dis watch out world!
Movies, books, and pop culture have endorsed this “sudden transformation” that happens once you decide to “go for it.” We believe that you become someone new and never look back. Someone who gets up at 5AM to write. Someone who cancels plans and works for 19 hours a day with a focus and rigor worthy of the movie montage it will inspire when you finally finish your project and show it to the world.
We call it the “Cinderella moment.” The moment where you transform who you are into who you could be – once and for all.
There’s a teeny tiny problem with the Cinderella moment: The clock strikes midnight.
We so wish the woodland creatures would show up to make us fabulous dresses, but even if they did we’d still be back to our regular old selves at the end of the night. Instead, making a Dream Project happen is like every other important thing we've ever done: You have to decide and then keep deciding to be the person who follows through on your Dream Project.
In his book The War of Art, Steven Pressfield introduces the idea of Turning Pro. The moment you decide to go from an amateur who dabbles to a professional who shows up no matter what. We love this idea and it’s transformed our lives and our writing – and we know it’s done the same for many of you. We have a slight edit: it’s not all or nothing in the way most of us have come to understand Turning Pro. Here’s how we understand it:
It’s turning pro enough to join a writing group.
It’s turning pro-er and finally getting out of our own way enough to produce a new piece of work every week.
Then hiding and turning un-pro (it happens) for a season before turning pro again.
You have to decide to turn pro and then keep deciding.
It's not about turning into Cinderella. It's about what you choose to do at midnight. There is not a single moment that transforms you into Cinderella. It’s many moments, over many years, where you recommit to your decision. I will write today. I will publish today. I will finish sewing. I will sketch that image. I will be a present parent. I will create nonprofit initiatives that have an impact on the communities we serve. I will list my paintings on my website.
To get to anywhere worth going, you’ve got to decide about a million times that you actually want to get there. You must decide big things like how much money you’ll invest and how many years of your life you’re willing to give in exchange for this great thing. And you must decide microscopic things like the word choice in the email you’re drafting and the tone with which you greet the person on the other end of the line.
But mostly you must keep deciding that accomplishing the great thing is what you want to do. This is hard work. Particularly when focus wanes and resolve flags and exhaustion sets in.
The challenge and opportunity are both right there -- in the decision to keep going.
Tell us in the comments: What will you decide at midnight? Have you had a Cinderella moment? What does renewing your decision look and feel like?
This: "It's not about turning into Cinderella. It's about what you choose to do at midnight. There is not a single moment that transforms you into Cinderella. It’s many moments, over many years, where you recommit to your decision."
There's so much here! I mean, she was *always* Cinderella; she just needed a little flick and swish of some magic (someone else's encouragement) to show her what was possible.