Begin again

why you keep sputtering out and what to do about it

Margo and I get quite a few notes from community members who feel the need to apologize for dropping off or for not always being super active community members. 

Our response is always the same: We get it. That simply makes you one of us.

We sign up for new things with enthusiasm and we so badly want to find a new version of ourselves unlocked by the next course or community or book or hack or how-to. But it doesn’t work like that. Resolutions fade, real life kicks in, and then there we are left with the sting of disappointing ourselves yet again.

At Brainstorm Road our not-so-secret mission is to eradicate shame and, as they say, knowledge is power, so let’s get nerdy and dive into a little bit of behavior change theory in hopes of explaining why this drop-off happens.

We begin with the Transtheoretical Model, or TTM for short. The Transtheoretical Model was conjured up to explain how healthy behavior change happens. Want to help someone stop smoking cigarettes? TTM explains how. 

The theory says that there are six stages of behavior change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination.

To have the best chance at successfully changing behavior, interventions should be stage matched. (Stick with me!) That means that interventions should be targeted at moving people just one stage further. If they’re contemplating action, the next intervention would be targeted only at helping them prepare to act. 

What TTM teaches us is that you can’t skip ahead and you can’t do it all at once. Small steps forward are the only way.

Maintenance is the stage where we maintain the intended behavior. Maintenance sounds easy. Car maintenance is what comes to mind for me and for that all you have to do is drive your car into the shop and, voila, a mechanic changes the oil and you’re ready to roll for another 3,000 miles. Except with behavior change it’s not like that at all. Maintenance is work. 

When people think about a creative practice, they think of it like a light switch. I want to draw, so I just need to figure out how to flip the switch on and then I’ll be drawing. But it’s not like that at all. It takes a lot of energy to begin and then it takes a lot of work to maintain the behavior change (from never painting to painting 10 minutes a day, for instance). You have to figure out how to turn the switch on today and then you have to turn it on again tomorrow.

Seeing that there are five stages of change gives us a sense that modifying our behaviors – even when it’s something we want to do – takes a lot of energy. And, as we all know, energy is hard to come by on some days, so we sputter out. It has nothing to do with not wanting it bad enough, not committing hard enough, needing to try harder or being more disciplined. It’s simply a matter of seeing how behavior change works and understanding what we need when we’re attempting something new (or again or for the 497th time).

Katherine Morgan Schafler, who wrote an absolutely incredible book, says this: 

Ironically, the maintenance stage is the one that requires the most support. 

Regression is a natural part of growth. You will regress, and when you do, you need support around you to remind you that regression and failure are not the same thing. 

Without support around you after a regression, getting back on track feels like starting over at square one (which it’s not). Temporary changes are easy; maintaining the change is the real work. 

It’s normal to stumble through the action and maintenance stage. Stumbling and falling helps you discover where the bumpy parts of the path are for you. Through your mistakes, you’ll learn how to better prevent future mistakes. You’ll mine for loop holes that you then begin to tie off. 

Regression becomes less frequent when you stop misinterpreting it as failure. 

When you start acting on your dream of having a creative practice, it’s going to be wobbly. There will be stops and starts. You’ll probably fall off the wagon. That’s not a mistake, that’s part of the process. At Brainstorm Road we expect this to happen and we cheer so loud when folks find their way back onto the road. The word “maintenance” belies the real work which is always, always to begin again.

PS: If “all you’re doing” is talking and thinking about your Dream Project, that’s part of the process. That’s Stage 2 and it’s actual work. Wherever you are, we see you and we’re cheering you on.

SPEND 10 MINUTES A DAY ON YOUR DREAM PROJECT

Brainstorm Road’s flagship program is starting in July. It’s a community of people taking weekly action on their Dream Projects. Each week, you commit to spending 10 minutes a day on your project. On Friday, you tell us what you did. Learn more here.

We think it’s awesome you want to make stuff. Maintaining momentum is hard. Let’s do it together.